When we both find ourselves to be half-wooden (personal tensions and immaturity) and the world to be half-wooden (ourselves to be more alive than other individuals and institutions) than we my-as-well be Mr. Pinocchio Geppetto, tasked with animating the inanimate in ourselves and the world.
I’m afraid of making a webpage of nested tabs (the tabs would be something like jqueryui.tabs).
It would truly have a lot of tabs, as I imagine it. Each tab would have as many tabs as every tab in its layer (see below, but this is actually probably false, but is a good heuristic). I would label each tab header with its count, too. I’m afraid to even calculate how many there would be. It would be a function of the size of the browser window and the size of the tab headers and the tab implementations css margins and paddings, etc. However, it would be further complicated by the fact that width of a tab-header is going to change because the tabs are going to be labeled by the tabs position in the actual linear process of creating the tabs. Thus, as more tabs are added and the string representation of the count of the tab in the overall linear process of creating the tabs increases so too will the width of the tab header and thus will decrease the number of tabs that can fit in a particular tab page. Luckily, the height of the tabs can be assumed to be constant. Ooohhhh, no it can’t. As the tab page <div> width and height decreases due to the layered nesting of the tabs, there is going to be less measure available for the vertical or horizontal tab header, until, when the linear count string representation is large enough, the tab header text will wrap and thus double (triple? quadruple? …?) the height of the tab header. One could probably find their way to an upper bound for the depth of ‘triple’ and ‘quadruple’ etc (on second thought, you couldn’t, probably, because depending on the seed algorithm, later layers may have far more than earlier layers and thus this is fraught with difficulty, too). As I imagine this all working, tab pages would cease nesting (in a particular branch) once there was no more room in the parent tab page for another entire header containing the position text. Furthermore, each layer, as shown in the crude drawing, would alternate loop around vertical and horizontal tab header directions going clockwise.
At least, that’s how I imagine this, assuming a browser could even get anywhere near a full representation. I’m sure a single ‘layer’ could be fully displayed using an algorithm that nested inwards always on the layerth tab position of next nested layer (but it would still have boatloads of empty tabs to create [or you could loop in always from the outside most layer until that horizontal or vertical linear collection of tab headers would wrap to a second line if another were added). In that way, the thing would be sort of spirally flat. But this would also change how many tabs could possibly be created due to the fact that the flattened spirally first layer will have tab header text that has all low-count numbers. Almost assuredly less than 50000. I mean, I’m looking at my 1920×1080 monitor (lets assume full screen) and referencing the jqueryui.tabs visual above to guess the flattened first layers number of tabs using the labeling scheme mentioned. What is that, like 50px tall and, starting at 1 and counting to 50000, going to maybe 100px wide. It would vary as the count grew, and even with each number, subtly, in any particular non-fixed width font. With this particular seed algorithm, we’re basically talking about fitting a number of slowly growing squares onto the screen, where each square contains a number increasing by one for each new square on screen.
It would be interesting to develop an equation that could exactly calculate the total number of tabs and the number of tabs on a particular browser window environment. You could create fancier calculations, like how many tabs are visible on a particular tab page given the position of that tab page in the linear count of all tab pages. But even that ignores the most interesting aspects of the webpage of nested tabs, such as how each of all the hidden tabs reveal a collection of tab headers containing numbers which are initially determined by the seed algorithm. And that’s the rub, any difference in the seed algorithm is going to totally change any calculation concerning how many tabs there are total and what tabs are visible on any particular tab page. Furthermore, any particular focused tab will begin to show different content than that initially determined by the algorithm as the user clicks through the nested tabs and moves up and down layers of the webpage. (Think of how on each page filled with tab page headers, you can click one and see a new nested tab page filled with tab headers containing numbers, and then click again, and again, and mix them up, and then go backwards and forwards. Now try to predict which tab headers will be visible when a particular tab header is clicked. It would be difficult even without the mixing up of the tabs. But how could that history be represented and serialized (programmer talk for written to some sort of data format to be stored in memory) as it occurred in such a way as to facilitate an easy calculation of what is visible on any tab page? Alternately, what could such a calculation and such a representation be similiar to? Could arbitrary, non browser environments, or “zooming” geometries that don’t restrict nesting at all, be meaningful?
Scary stuff. Here’s its genesis:
(I’ll change this photo as soon as I have access to my normal camera)
And behind this entire gestalt is probably an active archetype, a la Jung. I especially appreciate the lightning crease that tears down the middle of the page. I had printed a document earlier and I remember when the printer made a sharp sound and the creased page had been ejected. But at that time I didn’t know this iridescent archetype was going to paint itself over the top (of my night, too, ultimately, since overall I’ve devoted from 3 to 5 hours to this flowering mandala from outhe blue).
I used to use Moleskin Notebooks as wallets. It was nice to always have paper around. Eventually, I stopped using them because they’d always fall apart and then I took to preemptively taping them up but they’d just fall apart in other ways and it was a losing battle so I quit (luckily, these days, my inner dialog is a lot quieter, so I have less to write at odd times). I ended up with 12 of them, over the course of 5 years or so, the last one petering away as lately as a few months ago.
Anyway, who cares about that (or any of this for that matter). Basically, I’d write fragments or wholes in them (these notebooks are small, so a couple words typed out below were a few scribbled lines originally). There is not always intended to be a link between the meanings between consecutive lines unless I group them together. Just remember, if I was buying a burger at McDonald’s and I had a wise thought about the importance of a healthy diet, I’d write it in the Moleskin while an impatient cashier would sigh to the impatient customers wanting me to pay for my meal (just kidding, I’m not an ass). Then I’d go home and read something and have a different thought and write it down. The connection is me, that’s it. If somethings in quotes but it is not attributed, that means I wrote it as a spoken statement either by me or a hypothetical character. If I don’t know where the quote came from but it isn’t mine, I’ll indicate that. I’m always careful about that sort of thing whenever I write down a quote from somewhere, so I don’t have to worry about who said it or where I got it from.
I’ll put my comments generated while transcribing the journal between these symbols [|…|] and I’ll break this post up into multiple since it is unreasonable to fit an entire notebook in a single blog post. Here’s Mokeskin #2 (8/22/07-9/15/07) Part 1 (I guess about 15 parts equally sized to this blog post to hold this Moleskin):
A doubly metaphorical luggage cart. [|Please note that the word ‘metaphor’ in modern Greek means ‘luggage cart’|]
A silent dishwasher with a piercing gaze.
Ill prepared am I even for my preparation.
Reading Nietzsche I saw that God is dead. God? Who’s this character? So I’ve picked up his book.
This story’s a sentence writ out in images. The symbols burst from the stage onto the page, letters the needles of a one act tattoo.
Toss the Tarot as you chase your own tale.
In writing my book, wriggle free, tear off the blindfold, and kick down those [eight] swords.
“Your life energy pattern, your chi, is like a gluey film that my Tarot cards will never be rid of.”
“For Goodness’ sake, don’t shuffle his Tarot cards! You’ll reveal parts of your fortune that he may be able to interfere with.”
“But if a single shuffle is so powerful, then what is a day of conversation or a written letter?”
“Good. Now you are beginning to understand the ways we shuffle people’s symbols,. Every time we activate a symbol, we shuffle it around some–but real shuffling takes knowing the right symbols and the active ways to associate them, like a laboratory procedure, alchemical molecules boiling and reacting in the retort, establishing new equilibriums, generating precipitate.”
Surely there are forces at work into which insight would help.
For Tarot, it is like learning an equation. This doesn’t mean you don’t have to understand the situation (problem) but it does serve as a reminder of what’s involved. It also gives hints as to possible common structural relations. [|I was toying with Tarot for a short time and trying to understand what the point was–in this case I was specifically talking about how you have to read the books that interpret the cards for you, so in the end, really, it was like blindly applying an equation to a problem, like some people do in physics class|]
Book idea: An alien race that watches over humans, and, just before we Nuke the planet, they destroy our nukes and enslave us for 10,000 years [|long enough to sink changes into our nature|]
Of what do you speak? A cabal of Kabbalists? An occult coup?
“Oh you Human Beings. In the stone sleeps an image, the image of my images! A shame it must sleep in the hardest, ugliest stone.”
-Nietzsche, Thus Spoke Zarathustra, pg 67 [|All Nietzsche quotes, from here forward, from Thus Spoke Zarathustra (TSZ) refer to the Adrian del Caro translation|]
“Now my hammer rages cruelly against its prison. Shards shower from the stone: what do I care?”
-Nietzsche, TSZ, pg. 67
Fear is the ugly half of desire.
“Spirit is life that cuts into life; by its own agony it increases its own knowledge–did you know that?”
-Nietzsche, TSZ, pg. 80
A movie that shows a sequence of conversations that a man stands behind that change to include him while not actually acknowledging him. This happens through statements/questions of multiple meaning and referent. Iow, a guy at a party goes and moves among conversations, standing at the backs of the interlocutors, and influences them while not being known to them. Have the reader/viewer have to figure/puzzle out the double meanings and multiple levels of the mover’s existence. An unconscious meme, an archetype Being pulsing with organs of synchronicity.
“And only where there are graves are there resurrections.”
-Nietzsche, TSZ, pg. 88
A website that “portals” to a world wide web of another planet of humanlike aliens. Has stances, news, articles, social websites, books, stories, characters, mysteries–a game of sorts–even chatrooms.
“The unwise, to be sure, the people–they are like a river on which a skiff floats; valuations are seated in the skiff, solemn and cloaked.”
-Nietzsche, TSZ, pg. 88
“And this secret life itself spoke to me: ‘Behold,’ it said, ‘I am that which must always overcome itself.'”
-Nietzsche, TSZ, pg 89
The youth are disempowered in this country.
The Green Lion roaring in a golden age.
God cannot contain evil–it is too much for Him.
“But, Boo Hoo! It’s sooo difficult to quit smoking!”
“Difficult! What!? We’re fucking human beings not rats sticking our stubby snouts into blood red buttons to get our shock and our cookie!!”
A book of interconnected short stories, like a movie integrating vignettes of this notebook. The last [|The boo hoo quote above|] is a T.V. commercial. Melodramatic, but with underlying power.
“There are maybe 3 beings on this planet that know of this, and I am 2 of them–I am telling you.”
“He [|God|] was also unclear. How he raged at us, this wrath snorter, because we understood him poorly! But why did he not speak more purely?”
-Nietzsche, TSZ, pg. 211
“Some kind of god in you converted you to your godlessness.”
-Nietzsche, TSZ, pg. ?
Do not forget to expand when you breathe in.
The first lessons with my pupil wld be in how to breathe–5 days would be on breath. Thunder. Only thunder in past hours as I wrote “breathe 5 days”.
As I thought this, lightning went, then as I wrote it, thunder: If I do yoga too well, as a conscious bellows, it cld become too powerful. Too much current–be careful.
“Where is innocence? Where there is a will to beget. And whoever wants to create over and beyond himself, he has the purest will.”
-Nietzsche, TSZ, pg. 96
“Where is beauty? Where I must will with my entire will; where I want to love and perish so that an image does not remain merely an image.”
-Nietzsche, TSZ, pg. 96
“And this I call perception: all that is deep shall rise–to my height!”
-Nietzsche, TSZ, pg. 97
“And who of us poets has not watered down his wine? Many a poisonous hodgepodge took place in our cellars, much that is indescribable was enacted there.”
-Nietzsche, TSZ, pg. 100
“To those who’ve been watching this little drama unfold–I am here now.”
“Why have you abandoned me! Was it for your pleasure or are you not w/out foes?”
“You poisoned me!”
“No, I let you poison yourself. But whoever wld do that is already poisoned. I didn’t cure you; I didn’t concoct the antidote. I’m researching the recipe”
“Probably mumbling to myself as I wind my spring.”
-Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood or Wind Up Bird Chronicle, pg. [|I reported it as NW, 187, but looking in Norwegian Wood, pg 187 I didn’t find the quote…|]
“Yeah, I know your type–you stir up conflict like its your electric soup. You sprout hooks, barbs and careen through space, getting your nettles stuck all over.”
“I don’t have any way for you to get in.”
-Murakami, Norwegian Wood, pg. 278
“The infantile stupidity w/ which most human beings torture themselves in the beginning of the process [|individuation|] slowly fades away… once one has really discovered that there is no progress and no solution other than getting used to that very simple thing of again and again just looking in every situation at the subjective factor of all the disturbances and trying to integrate it on that level — then a lot of the outer difficulties and the nonsense w/ which one was tortured just fall away.”
-Marie Von Franz, Alchemical Active Imagination (AAI), pg. 114
“In the beginning stages people can commit the most horrible sins of unconsciousness and stupidity w/out having to pay much for it. Nature does not take revenge. But when the work progresses over the years, even a slight deviation, a hint of the wrong word, or a fleeting wrong thought, can have the worst psychosomatic consequences. It is as though it became ever more subtle, moving on the razor’s edge.”
-Von Franz, AAI, pg. 114
“The greater part of all magical activities is the repitition on a small scale of something that at the same time happens on the large, cosmic scale.”
-Von Franz, AAI, pg. 126
My soul moves with the women around me — hither and tither. Like my eyes.
“Paracelsus did not think that astrological constellations directly affected the body, but believed that w/in man there is a kind of image of the firmament w/ its stars, and that the outer constellations of the firmament affect this inner firmament.”
-Von Franz, AAI, pg. 127
“Therefore, now be concerned only w/ virtue, which is truth itself, so that you become strong in battle like a lion and that you can overcome all powers of the world, and so that you do not fear even death or diabolical tyranny.”
-Von Franz, AAI, pg. 138
The question of how far you’ll go has a lot to do with how far you ranged before you slowed down to map more carefully where you’ve already been. Range far in your preliminaries–then go back over where you came from–then work back to your borders. Roman scholar.
Try to see how the multiplicity of individual events are movements brought about by more unified underlying pressures. Like putting a steak through a meat grinder. All that confusion stemming from an underlying order. Which itself was a constellation of natural disorder, ad infinitum.
You could say this is because you have more terrain to compare you present position w/ as you learn more. Broader context. Greater tapestry. Larger carpet.
“If man can transform things outside himself, then he can do that even better w/in his own microcosm, and he can recognize things even better w/in himself. Therefore in man himself is the greatest treasure, and nothing is outside him. Therefore one should start from w/in or from the medium which is outwardly and also inwardly visible, and one must recognize who and what one is w/in oneself and then one will, w/in the light of nature, recognize oneself via the outer.”
-Von Franz, AAI, pg. 141
Real, true relaxation is very difficult.
This was going to be a simple post. I thought I read a study once that correlated a person’s IQ to the speed or pattern in which that person’s pupils contracted under a sudden source of bright light. However, searching for a link to that, I found this: Reddit TIL (Today I Learned) in which a poster says he couldn’t find any evidence for such a study. However, a link was provided to a study titled Pupillary Responses on the visual background masking task reflect general cognitive abilty.
Anyway, I’ m allowing myself to be distracted, which is questionably intelligent. The point I was originally going to illustrate with that defunct study was that relaxation takes applying intelligence at deeper levels of being. An intelligence that we have, sort of kind of, but that we need to develop, like leg muscles in a bed-ridden convalescent. At least, it is my reference point that we are not, on the whole, as human beings, very good at relaxation in the deep whole-bodied way I’m referring to.
On a side note, I’m not surprised the memory of that “study” is false. A lot of the studies I vaguely remember encountering as a younger person were in fact misrepresentations of studies by journalists who weren’t qualified to report on or interpret the facts (which is why I’ve tried to establish the habit of checking them). Often I find, however, that I have a good sense of whether the conclusion that the study was used to buttress (in ‘me mind) was correct, even if the study itself is erroneous. This was one such, because it is my own experience that corroborated the idea that the very same intelligence that goes into generating our conscious thoughts (via unconscious mechanisms) is also responsible for (or was responsible for generating the systems that are) responding in ‘mechanical’ ways to stimuli. Our responses at the sub-conscious scale are not truly automatic or mechanical as I believe we’ve come to accept (popularly, among the unembodied but intellectually refined). They are incredibly minutely directed by an active intelligence. Our own, in fact. That’s something I’ve brought back with me. I can see it now as I type: my fingers flitter across the keys and on the edges and borders of my awareness I sense a continuous awareness of the hard touches of the edges of the plastic keycaps as my fingers deliberately scrape gently against them to keep oriented while my right hand dashes to the navigation keys briefly. And we can make this intelligence even more our own.
I wanted to say that I bet the ability to deeply relax is another such secondary measure of IQ. Unfortunately, I’m not sure where that puts me. This whole post began because of a intractable web of tension that I detect wrapping around my fascia. That’s why I emphasize difficult.
“Where do you see your life going?”
“I see a measured leveling out of my attachments to the world until I live a bare existence without even the need for contentment. That is one way – by another, I nurture a few special attachments. Do you want me to resolve that image in further detail?”
“I’ll probably teach. Not content, but approach. Maybe I’ll write some content since I can always apply the approach, too.
I’d like a home and land and a cluttered office and open rooms with lots of windows and plants and warmth. I’d like to not be the only person there – although I have, apparently, more stringent requirements than most in that I need a lot of alone time in the bargain.
I’d like to travel, but with a purpose. Maybe learning. Doing something other than just sight-seeing.
I’m going to continue to engage with technology as it develops – although I am interested in how it can integrate invisibly into a more human life more than in surrounding myself by it and being consumed in it. That said, I could see myself transforming, through technology, into a transhuman – although it’s not clear to me what the purpose of a transhuman would be, yet.
In fact, I already look at the world around me with a nostalgic eye – one way or another I’ll be shedding this place and this time – but unlike in the past, there’s no security in imagining everything going on without me: this place and time is going to totally shed itself, as well. In so many respects, everything around is just so many museum pieces, in respect to the major transformations the accelerating curve of technological advancement is bringing on its heels. So many of the words we’ve created in the past 100 years are going to be forgotten and meaningless soon. It can be hard to find solid, stable identity amid so many shifting sandcastles.
I like stone and wood and glass as building materials.
I like the style of mixing modern structure into the ruins of what was. This can be the right way to perfection.”
I’ll reword Impossible (Aggravatingly Difficult). Right now, I’m trying to keep the minor distractions clear from the major distraction to what is supposed to be my primary project – but which is itself just one project among many. It’s a lot like meditation, actually.
If you consider consciousness to be a field of energy (or logos or whatever) that concentrates under certain conditions (brains, for instance) then you can both keep the idea that consciousness arises from a single substratum, the whole universe round, while also asserting that the self arises wholly from the body/brain and is coincident with the body. Iow, you get to keep the insights of dualism that there is something unique about consciousness that is different than the mechanism of the world we see around us, while also keeping the insights of the monists that everything, even the material world, is in fact of one “substance”. Iow, basically, the dualists are wrong, but understandably so, because, just as the sun appears to move around the earth, so too can thoughts and awareness appear to be distinct from the body and trees and the sky. Just as it can be difficult to distinguish between the influence of gravity and static electricity and aerodynamics in the free fall of a feather near a wool sweater in which all three forces are at play. Ultimately, the substratum of reality, focused intently upon itself, alienates itself, under certain conditions, from its own emergent resonances (like how even the sharpest usable blade at our scale of existence is a blunt edged storm cloud at subatomic scale).
In this view, when the body dies the conditions that concentrated the “consciousness field” go away and thus the consciousness itself goes away. There is no ego because that was basically the history of the aches and pains and joys of a life written on a body that is now decomposing. What remains, however, is the potential, in atoms, in the quantum substratum of the material expression of energy, for self-referential energic fields – fields that hold themselves together.
And there’s consciousness. The will/ability/tendency of things to stitch things together, at a tiny, tiny scale that emerges up through scale after scale, characteristically, to express at the scale of galaxies etc as well.
Well, I’m waxing a little poetic at the end there, because I have no direct evidence that there exists consciousness at galactic scales. Call it a hunch: that for existence to exist at all, for everything to be stitched together, as it self-evidently is, is the same as to say that consciousness exists at every scale. But I don’t have the axiomatic infrastructure to support that statement as of yet. It’s based on the insight that what we experience as conscious awareness is coincident with the tendency of energy to cohere and is the basic ingredient for self-organizing cascades. My intuition is that qualia is the fundamental feeling of distinction expressing at a quantum scale and cohering in “shapes” via the brain at an appreciable scale for our own self (yes, it bothers me to use words that have precise scientific definitions when I don’t know those definitions to any degree of exactitude, but the word still seems best to describe what I want to describe).
Obviously, you should come to your own conclusions, and we should all keep an eye on the scientists’ experiments and hypotheses.
Last hypothesis: we can find this “tendency” as I’ve called it, in mathematics itself, seen from enough of a distance. My guess is that mathematics is consciousness tracing its own contours out in the energy field which comprises it. Again, this energy field is the tendency of energy to cohere, and thus, the foundation of matter, as well as that of consciousness and the physical universe (as container) as we know it. Thus mathematics is the logic of combination or association and the emergent properties thereof (geometry)- the very sorts of things that energy would need to exist.